Sharing the Stephen Ministry Journey

by Betty Hibler

A part of our twice-monthly meetings with our Stephen Ministers who have completed the Training and been “Commissioned” is devoted to considering what are called “Focus Questions.” This past week, one of these Questions was: How are you learning to value your ministry for what it is rather than what it does?”

One Minister shared the following with our group: “I have intentionally led a very achievement-oriented life, historically. Whatever I was doing in life – academics, business – whatever the hourly, daily, weekly, monthly, quarterly, annual five-year plan, there were metrics, milestones, and achievements that were necessary foundation stones for the next achievements.

“. . . Then something happened. I achieved everything I set out to do, including the objective of creating an environment where I could free myself from constant achievement. A therapist helped guide me through the years and finally at year twenty, she said: “Okay, what if that’s enough? . . . The answer is to focus on being, rather than doing.”

“Circling back to the question: How are you learning to value your ministry for what it is rather than what it does? – this opportunity is a tangible, real illustration of how being present – just being – is valuable. I can’t “do” anything to achieve a better outcome for my care receiver. But being on the journey, being present, being with another being, is the “secret sauce” – not the doing.